A New Years Resolution: To Be a Keeper At Home

While millions of people are making new years resolutions that may never take, may we resolve in our hearts to be busy at home, blessing our family and training our children. Let us look forward to this new year as one of hope for generations to come. I encourage you to gain renewed vision and passion for your precious calling as a wife and mother. Though trials and discouragement come, may the all sufficient Word of God be our standard and may the precepts therein stand the tests of the cultural tide. We are the women whom God has blessed with the privilege of raising the next generation, teaching them His truths, and creating an atmosphere that is vibrant and full of love and the joys of life. There is no other place on earth that we are more needed to give these blessings, than in the home. There is no other people who need these blessings more from us, than those of our own household.  The influence we have over the next generation can be greater with our own children in our own homes, than in any oval office or Sunday school classroom.  J.R Miller says it well in his book Homemaking (or recently republished under a new title The Family).

There have been wives who in their zeal for Christ's work outside have neglected Christ's work inside their own doors. They have had eyes and hearts for human need and human sorrow in the broad fields lying far out, but neither eye nor heart for the work of love lain about their own feet. The result has been that while they were doing angelic work in the lanes and streets, the angels were mourning over their neglected duties within the hallowed walls of their own homes. While they were winning a place in the hearts of the poor and the sick or the orphan, they were losing their rightful place in the hearts of their own household. Let it be remembered that Christ's work in the home is the first that He gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres will atone in this world or the next for neglect or failure there.

Let this be the year that you put your hand to the plow and did not retrieve. Put away activities that keep you from serving your husband and discipling your children. Commit yourself to cultivate well for Christ a home that is productive and efficiently managed, that shows the skillful handiwork of God. And may you reap a harvest of blessings in the years to come.

Grace and peace be upon you in 2009 and many more to come as the Lord sees fit. 

Love Your Children? Discipline Them!

Mmm, the sweet smell of a new baby. And the joy that is set to overflow when God causes a new life to be brought into your very arms. Just the thought makes me want another! Truly what a blessing children are! That is what God intends them to be. That is what they are if they are loved. Why does the world think children are a burden and why do so many mothers feel the same way about their own flesh and blood? Did they not have the burst of joy I had when I birthed my children? Did they not swim in the emotion for weeks and months there after? I believe they did; it is normal maternal instinct. But sin. Yes, sin and babies go hand in hand. They were born into sin just like you and I. And soon, as they grow, it begins to show itself in ways that the world has deemed as just normal and childish behavior. And any child left to continue in that state is hindered from becoming the blessing God has intended him to be. With parents scared and confused about discipline it's no wonder there are more brats then blessings. Shame on us mothers! Shame? That's what the Bible says about a child that has no discipline or discipleship. Proverbs 29:15 "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." We know it all to well, a mother is going somewhere or is having company and warns the kids to behave and not embarrass her, then she is upset with them for their ill behavior. I believe in most cases it is unwarranted, since she has failed to love them by not training them! Love equals discipline. Yes, there are others ways we love our children but discipline is a most important factor in their growth. Proverbs 13:24 " Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." I know many of us think we discipline our children to our best ability. But in order for it to count it must be done diligently! We cannot be slack concerning the outcome of our children! Proverbs 23:13 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol." No there is no guarantee that disciplining your children will cause them to be regenerated. But it will cause their heart to be much more apt to submit to God's authority when they have submitted to yours. It may sound harsh to some, but consider the options: discipline my child and give them understanding, or spoil them and cause them to despise wisdom and become fools. If we love our children then I think our course of action is clear. We must discipline them diligently. We cannot wait until dad gets home, we must maintain the order of the home. God has called parents to be over their children, this is not a democracy. This too, is a way we honor our husbands, by training the children when he is not home so they are a blessing to him. We must not tune out sinful behavior hoping they will grow out of it, be warned they will continue in it in their heart and be swallowed up by selfish desires. We need to hone in on the areas of sin our children are struggling with and help them see it clearly by taking them to God's word when we discipline and disciple them. And if they are still to young to reason with, then we must begin to cause their will to surrender. It may sound like a task that is insurmountable, but God has given us the responsibility and the authority to carry it out and He will provide the means. And your children will become a source of blessing to not only your family but to all around them! May God renew your love for your children today, by giving you a fresh vision for bringing your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, for His glory! Ephesians 6:4

Let the little children come...to God's word

My oldest child, Scott, will be sixteen in two weeks, and I am so humbled by the grace of God, that he gave him to me and has grown him to into quite a remarkable young man. I will not boast about him as if he were something other than a product of God's amazing grace. That's not what my intent is today. I want to boast in God's faithfulness. I want to boast in the sufficiency of His word. I want to boast in His Son, Jesus Christ who alone gives life to the dead. And all these, I see in my son maturing into a man of God. I can truly say it was nothing I did or didn't do apart from God and pure mercy and grace, because prior to becoming a

Christian I knew nothing of being a woman, wife, or a mother. I was a young struggling single mother who had no direction and was drowning in my

sins. Yet, Christ was calling me to himself and when I heard the word of truth that saved my soul, the gospel, I was converted from death to life, from darkness to light, from a girl with a baby, to a mother.

My 3 year old son had witnessed the radical change in my life and even at this young age, God began to convict him of his sin as I preached the gospel to him. He said He wanted to repent from his sin and be born again. And immediately I saw a change in him, and so did the others who knew him! He came to me one day soon after, saying he wanted to get rid of all his Power Ranger toys because they did not glorify God! I didn't lead him to do this, it was all him. He was memorizing stories and scripture on his own. His play time was spent acting out bible stories and playing church (he was the preacher!). By no means am I saying my child didn't sin or do childish things, but he had a heart that feared God and was repentant. He was truly a blessing. I really thought this is how all children in the church were. The church I was attending was more like an over sized youth group. But as we began to have more children, I saw a difference, yet we all went to the same church. What was different? I believe that one of the things was the Word of God in the home. As a new christian I was hungry for God's word and read it constantly. We read the Bible together almost every morning and evening. I immersed myself and my son in it. And we grew.

It was a providential work of God's grace, I hadn't ever read a parenting book or had any real examples. Time went on, I married a man from church and God blessed us with 4 more children. We began trying to figure out our "parenting style". Frustrated with all the conflicting views in parenting books and not content with the results we saw in other children, we finally decided to look to scripture alone! And what do you know, IT was just what we needed! The confusion of whose method was the right one was lifted. We began to actually read together as a family on a consistent basis. We have gone through many seasons where we have read the scriptures together, on our own, and even struggled with reading the Bible consistently. But God has been so faithful to always bring us back, and to anchor us in the place of seeing our need for God's word daily. We continue to have regular times of family worship and are actively training our children. I have seen God work in our other children, all different, but I am so excited to see what He will do in their lives. I pray He gives us strength to be faithful with these little ones, as we cling to His word daily for our instruction in righteousness. And I thought it was my radical conversion that played the large part in Scott coming to faith! I now realize it was pure grace, the Word and God giving the increase.

I have read and do recommend some books on the subject of child rearing, but it is important that we remember God's word is the standard and not someone else's convictions. I myself like to glean from other godly men and woman but my husband and I are responsible to teach my children the way they should go. There's not one recipe for parenting, but the same ingredient must exist in each family, the WORD. Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. As I bring my children to the Word, Jesus Christ, I trust Him to bless them as I cannot, by giving life more abundantly.

Do not under estimate the ability of your children to sit and listen to God's word. Start with small portions if need be. But consistency is key. Don't give up even if they show little to no interest, aren't understanding, or behave badly, this is the best opportunity for training them to sit still and honor God's word and you! Remember Proverbs 9:10 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding". I have seen my own children, even at 2, be able to learn to sit for an hour. And then to our shock, recite a verse or catechism question that an older sibling was working on! Not to mention sing several stanzas of hymns like "Come Thou Fount" and "Be Thou My Vision"! Consistency is key!

Please don't leave it up to someone else to teach and preach the Word of God to your children, and especially only once a week. If you or I were to limit our spiritual lives to that meager diet, our heart would wax cold within us. Lead your little ones to the rock that endures forever. May God grant true repentance and may He receive glory through His son who alone is our righteousness. And may He raise up a generation that will proclaim His Name to the nations!

Sola Scriptura

The Not so Perfect Husband, The Perfect Husband for You

The word love is thrown around in our society so flippantly and mostly portrayed in a sensual or romantic way. Hollywood has seared our minds and confused the true meaning of love. So when we read in Titus 2 that we are to love our husband, we say, "yeah, that's a given?" and move quickly on. We must pause for a moment, the current state of our culture demands it. The Bible is not merely talking about feelings or romance, it speaks of commitment to esteem in spite of who he is or what the circumstances may be. Loving our husbands is not conditional or mutual. Yes, our husband is called by God to love us as Christ loves the church, but that is not our green light to then love him. We are sure to be disappointed with our husband at some or many points in our life and if we wait for him to love us perfectly before we obey God, then we will surely destroy our hope for a Christ exalting marriage and revile the word of God. We have not been given any biblical precedence to wait for our husband to do his part before we will do ours. A husbands disobedience can in no way be an excuse to be lazy with our commitment to obey God. On the contrary, 1Pet. 3:1 says, " Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives--." A woman has the ability to turn her husband away from the Lord and herself by nagging and trying to rule over him. She can either be a safe place for her husband to come home to or run him off with her words and behavior. She can create a home environment that is sweet to the senses or bitter to behold. Pro 21:19, "It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman."
Men have a great responsibility before God to lead wives, families, churches, nations! But do not be fooled, women have a great responsibility before God to be the pillar which support them. "My husband is not a leader, at least he does not lead me spiritually" you might say. A leader must have followers! Are you following? Or are you competing for his position because you think you can do a better job? Are you showing your children, by your attitude and actions, that Daddy isn't really the king of this castle, causing your little ones to question what their father and God has said? Your ability to do something better than your husband or knowing something he may not, does not negate the order God has set forth from the beginning of time. The husband is still the head of the wife and she is still the helper suitable for him.
How people see you and your children will directly effect how they see your husband and consequently how they see God. Whether you are in his presence or absence your conduct must be that which brings your husband glory. Pro 12:4, " An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones." A man must be reverenced in order to be loved! This is just the way God made them, and we are just the ones God made to do it! If we obey and honor our husband the world and the church sees it, Christ is glorified. If we do not, then the word of God is blasphemed and Christ is mocked in the world. If you are committed to Christ as your Lord, then you must consider how He created you to glorify Him.
Eph 5:22, says "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Let's think about that for a minute, wives are to submit to their husband as to the Lord. When we submit to our husband, we submit to the Lord! When we rebel against our husband, we rebel against the Lord! When we respect our husband, we respect the Lord! When we dishonor our husband, we dishonor the Lord! That's right, we are commanded to serve, submit, respect and love our husband, as we would our Lord Jesus Christ. We are not replacing Jesus with a husband, God forbid, but we are pleasing God as we rightly honor our husband. Col. 3:18, "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Christ submitted Himself completely to the Father to do His will. We cannot be greater than our master.
When Christ called us to follow Him, we confessed that we no longer belonged to our self, but to Him, to do His will. Our life is hidden in Christ! Likewise, when we stand before God and look at the vows of marriage we agree that we will submit to and be a helpmate to our husband, where our husband goes we will follow. Our life is no longer our own! Eph 5:24 "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husband." The parallel here is that, just as the church is to yield to God, a wife is to yield to her husband.
1 Cor. 11:8-9, "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." We should further our husbands endeavors, his vision, desires,and goals should be our vision, desires, and goals. I am not saying we have no giftings or passions of our own, but we should not pursue any that contradict nor diminish his. Our first ministry should be to promote our husbands usefulness. This is not second best for our life, this is a sphere in which God will use us Glorify His name to all the earth. What better place can a Christian woman be than to be glorifying Christ with her life?
1 Pet. 3:6, "as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." When a woman understands and trusts that God has called her to completely come underneath her husbands leadership, not beside him as his equal in position, then she can be content with the Lord's will for her life. And not only content but filled with conviction and passion to pursue it! The standards of success for the woman of today is an affront to God, His word, and to our husband. 1 Cor. 11:3, " But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." We cannot truly love our husbands until we treat them with the respect they are due. Not because of who they are or what they do or do not do, but because God Almighty gave them that due. If women would embrace this calling then we would see men step into the places God has called them to. If a man knew his wife was going to; follow not argue, support not tear down, smile and not sigh, complement not criticize, believe not belittle, no matter if something goes wrong (and what can go wrong when God, "causes ALL things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Rom. 8:28) then he might just step out with confidence and do great things for God! Notice that obedience does not hinge upon the conduct of the other. You must be willing to trust God's role for wives, knowing He has a glorious plan for your life. Yes, a plan that involves death to self, but a christian must die in order to find life. And a marriage with no death will have no life.
"Well, this is all nice for you, but you don't know MY husband," you may be thinking. You see, I do understand, because I too am married to a son of Adam. Remember, God is sovereign, He did not make a mistake! Your husband is a sinner, as are you. There is not another man in the world who would not offend your flesh in some way or another. No matter the man you married, there you still would be in all your selfishness finding fault. God intends to use your marriage to sanctify you greatly and show you His ability to be your strength in weakness. His grace is sufficient for you and love covers a multitude of sins! God can change the weakest marriage to be one that shows the grace, mercy, and glory of Christ, if only one would put off bitterness and put on love. I know that many of us may not have started our marriages on this note, but we must understand it is the grace of God that trains us. Grace, grace, by grace alone! Let us not grow weary, but let us press on! We are growing and continually being conformed into His image. And this too, is by His grace!! For His glory alone!!!

Where do I begin?

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2007

What is Biblical womanhood? What is a keeper of the home? I cannot answer those huge questions all at once but will make meager attempts to give small glimpses of what it looks like and what the scriptures say.
There is much confusion and deception about biblical womanhood and the roles men and women were created to fulfill. In church there is a pull to be involved in tons of activities and ministries that keep us busy away from the home. Being a keeper of the home doesn't mean we never leave or serve but it means what God has immediately places before us is a priority and taking care of the needs of our family first before we run all over to care for the never ending needs of others. Jesus being the most concerned about others then we ever could be, told his disciples that the poor you have with you always, but me you will not always have.(my paraphrase). Now, I'm not saying that out families or homes are on par with Christ and we should neglect the poor, but the raising of children does not last forever and one day they will be grown and our homes will look different once again. And God is greatly glorified when we live simple content lives serving Him where He has placed and and doing what we were created for. Our children and husbands need us to be all there, and that takes vision from God and empowering of the Holy Spirit. I don't want to waste the precious small time God gives me to impact the lives of my dearly loved children. I am not giving families as an excuse as to why we cannot practice the "one anothers", God forbid, as a matter of fact the home is the perfect place for these things to begin and take place. But God is not schizophrenic- He knows exactly what He is doing and He has a purpose to glorify Himself through the distinct roles we are deigned for. There will be many opportunities that will come your way but few if any are as important as "Mother."
We need to know exactly where God has called us and what that role looks like. And we can know! God's word is where we find our pattern for biblical womanhood, what God requires from us and where are liberties are in Christ. I want to know what God's word says and go no further. I struggled and worked through these questions for years before God brought me to a place of passion, freedom, and contentment, but I'm here by the grace of God! I still have my struggles but I am convinced and have great confidence in God's word.


Spend sometime in prayer--Ask God to
1. reveal any areas in your heart that are not aligned with His will
2. increase your desire to please only Him
3. cleanse your mind from worldly philosophy

Let us go straight to the Bible and let His word dwell richly in us, may it take root in our heart's and cause us to grow into women of virtue. Let us not be women of ignorance who think and conduct ourselves as the heathen but let us worship God in whose image we were created by offering our very lives to do His perfect sovereign will. Let us search the scriptures diligently and obey them, by the power of the Holy Spirit and the Grace of our God and Savior Jesus Christ!
Abide in Him and you will bear much fruit!

Who's Kingdom Are You Building?

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2007


Our enemy, the devil and father of lies, has always been cunningly tempting women to assert themselves over what God has said. The freedom and roles of women is definitely one of those areas. God's word has been under attack, in question, twisted, and watered down since the beginning. Satan, through radical feminists and socialism, have been using the lie that women are slaves to men, under the bondage of domestic duties, and losing their identity in years of maternal nurturing for quite some time. And, sadly, we (society at large) have believed them. But wherever Christianity has impacted a culture, women have been liberated from the tyranny of governments and religious systems where woman are nothing more than a possession to be had and from the plight of polygamy. Women of western culture owe the rights they now posses to God's Word, His providence and the spread of Christianity, instead they blaspheme His word by rebelling against God's created order. Alas, Christian women are not exempt from being deceived in this area, as a matter of fact, I will be as bold to say that many Christian and professing Christian women are running in the same flood of ideas as the unbelieving world. This is largely in part of the lack of sound Biblical teaching and the lack of older women to disciple younger woman. With the first cause described in the bible in 2 Timothy 4:3 & 4 "For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions,and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths". That leaves us with the second cause, the loss of the older women, which has left us bleeding from deep wounds of abandonment and the castle walls called "Home" are crumbling. It is here where we really see that we (society at large) have believed the lie; hook, line, and sinker, by the absence of the mentor mother & grandmother (or any mentor type role a woman might have in a family or church family) . Our predecessors who should have been teaching us through the daily life of family, abandoned their post for a career or "ministry" that would validate them or a paycheck that would give trifles instead of making disciples. They became rats on a wheel as the precious years of their children's lives passed them by without even a spark on the torch to light their way. They traded in their aprons, where they freely served as helpmate to their husband in creating a God glorifying home, for a collared blazer where they furthered the dreams of other men, and became wage slaves.
God has had mercy on us, and there is an awakening going on in the home. Fathers and Mothers are seeing the destructiveness of feminism. Mothers are staying home to raise their own children and Fathers are taking leadership in the home. There is a revival of family worship, as commanded from Deuteronomy 6:7 "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." This was prophesied to us in Malachi 4:6 "And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction." Yet the family is still under siege, and the lines have been penetrated. We must reject the idea that Christian women can live as unbelieving women concerning the raising of our children, the honoring of our husbands, our manner and dress and the keeping of our homes. We must embrace the teaching of the Bible, that we are called to be set apart, distinctively different. It is time for Christian women to reclaim the honored role of wife and mother, to cleanse herself of worldly philosophy and renew herself in God's unchanging word. Ladies, let us not harden our heart as did Eve when she was tempted to exalt herself. Rather, let us humble ourselves in the sight of God that He may, through the praises of our families and the next generation, lift us up. Proverbs 31:28 "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her". It is far better for us to gain a godly heritage from the Lord then to gain the passing pleasures of worldly success. Let us prepare our hearts to further the kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ by making our homes a haven of true discipleship. In the days to come, may you be found with brick and mortar in hand, building a household of faith.

"The wisest of women builds her house,but folly with her own hands tears it down." Proverbs 14.1
“Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls." Luke 11:17

I would like to add that I know not everyone is a stay at home wife & mother and some cannot be overnight and some may be faced with TRUE challenges that keep them from being at home. I was a single mother for many years and went through a time when I worked and pursued ministry outside of my home. At times out of necessity, other times from outside pressure. Yet, God did turn my heart and provided in miraculous ways for me to stay at home, even as a single mother. Even more of a blessing though, He has caused me to be free and contented in the role I was created for by giving me vision for beautiful biblical womanhood. May God give you a vision today. ...to be keepers at home, Titus 2

Out of the Haze, Into Joyful Womanhood

THURSDAY, MARCH 13, 2008


Christian Feminisim, it's an oxymoron but it does exist. If you are a Christian woman, then you probably would say that you know you are definitely not a feminist, "I believe in marriage and submission". Well, I thought the same thing until, by God's grace, I began to see that something just wasn't right with what was going on within the church. I was torn in several directions, passionately using my gifts through ministry's in the church or a career that brought financial and temporary accolades or effectively managing my home with that same passion, joy, and confidence. I knew wanted to live for God and I wanted be a stay at home mom, but what did it look like and how do I serve God at home? Then slowly, by the providential hand of God, He began to lead me out of the haze of evangelical feminism. I was moving right along with the flow of ministry minded woman who were seeking to serve God by any means other than the honored role of wife, homemaker, and mother, this was just a by-product (mostly avoided) of marriage. It was those in position of bible study leader, worship ministry, missionary and evangelist that were considered the "godly" women, those we ought to respect and emulate. There was always women who were doing what they ought, contentedly serving at home, but they were not the highly praised ones. And I wanted to be "godly"! But something happened, praise to God, that would change my life forever. I married by best friend. My husband didn't change me, but God, through the marriage relationship began to open my eyes to the far reaching effects of the lies of and my own sin! It has been a long road and it didn't happen over night but as I continually clung to the standard of God's word for truth, God has set me free from the worldly philosophy marriage and family. I am so thankful to my gracious sovereign Lord who has kept me through so much searching, I could have been led astray by various heretical doctrines or just laid down and given in to what others were doing. But God did not allow me to be content with the status quo and the Holy Spirit led me into truth, as He is faithful to do. I wasn't happy with what I was seeing or doing because it lacked purpose, lasting fruit and biblical soundness. I finally did come to a place where I saw God's word clearly enough to know that I was being taught was a watered down version of biblical womanhood and femininity and I rejected it. I have found in Christ by obedience to the Word of God true contentment. I still have many things to learn as I grow in the grace and knowledge of my Lord, and by his grace He will keep me pursuing His glory and not my own.
I'm just one beggar telling another beggar where I found food that satisfies. How I longed for wise older women to come alongside me, when I was searching. This is why I share my life and God's word with other women, that God may use these lessons from my life, to encourage other sisters in their pursuit of God. That they too, may be set free, by the truth from the scriptures, to love their husband and children, be keepers at home, chaste, discrete that God's word is not blasphemed. And in the midst they may have the encouragement of others who have gone before them and the contentment that comes from obedience to the God they love.