The Not so Perfect Husband, The Perfect Husband for You

The word love is thrown around in our society so flippantly and mostly portrayed in a sensual or romantic way. Hollywood has seared our minds and confused the true meaning of love. So when we read in Titus 2 that we are to love our husband, we say, "yeah, that's a given?" and move quickly on. We must pause for a moment, the current state of our culture demands it. The Bible is not merely talking about feelings or romance, it speaks of commitment to esteem in spite of who he is or what the circumstances may be. Loving our husbands is not conditional or mutual. Yes, our husband is called by God to love us as Christ loves the church, but that is not our green light to then love him. We are sure to be disappointed with our husband at some or many points in our life and if we wait for him to love us perfectly before we obey God, then we will surely destroy our hope for a Christ exalting marriage and revile the word of God. We have not been given any biblical precedence to wait for our husband to do his part before we will do ours. A husbands disobedience can in no way be an excuse to be lazy with our commitment to obey God. On the contrary, 1Pet. 3:1 says, " Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives--." A woman has the ability to turn her husband away from the Lord and herself by nagging and trying to rule over him. She can either be a safe place for her husband to come home to or run him off with her words and behavior. She can create a home environment that is sweet to the senses or bitter to behold. Pro 21:19, "It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman."
Men have a great responsibility before God to lead wives, families, churches, nations! But do not be fooled, women have a great responsibility before God to be the pillar which support them. "My husband is not a leader, at least he does not lead me spiritually" you might say. A leader must have followers! Are you following? Or are you competing for his position because you think you can do a better job? Are you showing your children, by your attitude and actions, that Daddy isn't really the king of this castle, causing your little ones to question what their father and God has said? Your ability to do something better than your husband or knowing something he may not, does not negate the order God has set forth from the beginning of time. The husband is still the head of the wife and she is still the helper suitable for him.
How people see you and your children will directly effect how they see your husband and consequently how they see God. Whether you are in his presence or absence your conduct must be that which brings your husband glory. Pro 12:4, " An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones." A man must be reverenced in order to be loved! This is just the way God made them, and we are just the ones God made to do it! If we obey and honor our husband the world and the church sees it, Christ is glorified. If we do not, then the word of God is blasphemed and Christ is mocked in the world. If you are committed to Christ as your Lord, then you must consider how He created you to glorify Him.
Eph 5:22, says "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Let's think about that for a minute, wives are to submit to their husband as to the Lord. When we submit to our husband, we submit to the Lord! When we rebel against our husband, we rebel against the Lord! When we respect our husband, we respect the Lord! When we dishonor our husband, we dishonor the Lord! That's right, we are commanded to serve, submit, respect and love our husband, as we would our Lord Jesus Christ. We are not replacing Jesus with a husband, God forbid, but we are pleasing God as we rightly honor our husband. Col. 3:18, "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Christ submitted Himself completely to the Father to do His will. We cannot be greater than our master.
When Christ called us to follow Him, we confessed that we no longer belonged to our self, but to Him, to do His will. Our life is hidden in Christ! Likewise, when we stand before God and look at the vows of marriage we agree that we will submit to and be a helpmate to our husband, where our husband goes we will follow. Our life is no longer our own! Eph 5:24 "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husband." The parallel here is that, just as the church is to yield to God, a wife is to yield to her husband.
1 Cor. 11:8-9, "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." We should further our husbands endeavors, his vision, desires,and goals should be our vision, desires, and goals. I am not saying we have no giftings or passions of our own, but we should not pursue any that contradict nor diminish his. Our first ministry should be to promote our husbands usefulness. This is not second best for our life, this is a sphere in which God will use us Glorify His name to all the earth. What better place can a Christian woman be than to be glorifying Christ with her life?
1 Pet. 3:6, "as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." When a woman understands and trusts that God has called her to completely come underneath her husbands leadership, not beside him as his equal in position, then she can be content with the Lord's will for her life. And not only content but filled with conviction and passion to pursue it! The standards of success for the woman of today is an affront to God, His word, and to our husband. 1 Cor. 11:3, " But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." We cannot truly love our husbands until we treat them with the respect they are due. Not because of who they are or what they do or do not do, but because God Almighty gave them that due. If women would embrace this calling then we would see men step into the places God has called them to. If a man knew his wife was going to; follow not argue, support not tear down, smile and not sigh, complement not criticize, believe not belittle, no matter if something goes wrong (and what can go wrong when God, "causes ALL things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Rom. 8:28) then he might just step out with confidence and do great things for God! Notice that obedience does not hinge upon the conduct of the other. You must be willing to trust God's role for wives, knowing He has a glorious plan for your life. Yes, a plan that involves death to self, but a christian must die in order to find life. And a marriage with no death will have no life.
"Well, this is all nice for you, but you don't know MY husband," you may be thinking. You see, I do understand, because I too am married to a son of Adam. Remember, God is sovereign, He did not make a mistake! Your husband is a sinner, as are you. There is not another man in the world who would not offend your flesh in some way or another. No matter the man you married, there you still would be in all your selfishness finding fault. God intends to use your marriage to sanctify you greatly and show you His ability to be your strength in weakness. His grace is sufficient for you and love covers a multitude of sins! God can change the weakest marriage to be one that shows the grace, mercy, and glory of Christ, if only one would put off bitterness and put on love. I know that many of us may not have started our marriages on this note, but we must understand it is the grace of God that trains us. Grace, grace, by grace alone! Let us not grow weary, but let us press on! We are growing and continually being conformed into His image. And this too, is by His grace!! For His glory alone!!!